Foundit: Hilariously Serious: 2009-03-29

Saturday, April 4, 2009

[FunOnTheNet] Outstanding Out of Bounds Photos (PART 2)

delfiner
via moccadonna

Dragonfly OOB
via Micah A. Ponce

Drew OOB Rock
via Serrator

Fair Fun OOB
via Micah A. Ponce

Firework OOB
via X

Your Timing Out
via eddie gunn

Yaoworat Road, Bangkok
via Mike LaPalme

Where's he going?
via bftcc

Wheeeeeeeeeeee!
via rubyblossom.

Gilded Frame pictures
via apraxine

OOB Kid Pictures
via gali

Please Do NOT Touch Artwork
via jennsomething

Great Wall of China
via edhelien

The lady loves chocolates
via Lucky Del

The flock
via Micah A. Ponce

The Escape
via Shiggedyswa

The Boss
via Firenzesca

Surfing folly OOB
via Micah A. Ponce

Suan Rot Fai, Bangkok
via Mike LaPalme

Stop thief!
via Micah A. Ponce

Stepping Out-of-Bounds
via Micah A. Ponce

Scorpion, Koh Chang - Thailand
via Mike LaPalme

São Tomé
via jacilopesdossantos

Red Bull Flugtag
via dela7

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[FunOnTheNet] Outstanding Out of Bounds Photos (PART 1)

Out of bounds (OOB) photos are post processed photos where the contents are taken outside the boundaries, presented in creative 3-dimensional perspective. OOB photos can be achieve with some basic photo editing skills. Getting an interesting OOB photo depend largely on the photo angle and individual creativity.

OOB guy
via gali

3D-rop
via Stridsberg

111 Ready for Launch Sir
via dela7

Lion OOB
via Micah A. Ponce

Alligator OOB
via Micah A. Ponce

Barco
via jacilopesdossantos

Bigfoot oob
via Serrator

Bubble Hop OOB
via Micah A. Ponce

But It Is, Like, Right There
via Cayusa

Crosswalk sign
via ktrcoyote

delfiner
via moccadonna

Dragonfly OOB
via Micah A. Ponce

Drew OOB Rock
via Serrator

Fair Fun OOB
via Micah A. Ponce

Firework OOB
via X

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[ funny jokes ] Funny Jokes - Jewish Beggar

Jewish Beggar

An old Jewish beggar was out on the street, begging with his tin cup. A man passed by and the beggar said to the man, "Sir, could you spare 3 cents for a cup of coffee?"

And the man said, "Where do get coffee for 3 cents?"

And the beggar said, "Who buys retail?"

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[ funny jokes ] Satellite Dish

Funny Jokes

Wife: Doctor My husband thinks he's a satellite dish.

Doctor: Don't worry I can cure him.

Wife: I don't want him cured I want you to adjust him to get the movie channel.

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[ funny jokes ] Lawyer Jokes

Medical Experiments

The National Institute of Health (NIH) announced a new standard for medical testing.

Testing on rats will be terminated, and in the future live animal testing will be performed using lawyers. The NIH presented the following explanation for its decision:

1. Some lab assistants were becoming quite attached to their rats, and it was important to find an alternative which would not inspire emotional involvement.

2. The population of attorneys grows at a faster rate than the population of rats.

3. Lawyers contribute less to society, and thus are more expendable than rats.

4. Animal rights societies do not oppose experimentation on lawyers.

5. There are some things even a rat won't do.

The NIH is trying to resolve concerns raised by this change, that using lawyers for testing may render it more difficult to extrapolate test results to human beings.

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[ funny jokes ] Retired Preacher

Funny Jokes

A preacher retired and moved to the country to enjoy life and practice his hobby of yard work. Needing a lawn mower, he headed into town to buy one. On the way he saw a sign advertising a lawn mower for sale. He stopped at the house and a young lad came out to greet him.

The preacher asked about the lawn mower and the kid said it was behind the house. The two went to look at the lawn mower. The engine was sputtering along at idle speed. The preacher increased the speed of the engine and mowed a few strips. Satisfied that the mower would do the job they settled on a price of $25.00.

Later in the day, the young lad was riding his bicycle when he spied the preacher pulling on the engine starter rope. The kid stopped and watched for a couple of minutes. He asked, "What's wrong?"

The reply came, "I can't get this mower started. Do you know how?"

The kid said, "Yep."

"Well, how do you do it? Tell me!", the preacher yelled.

The kid replied, "You have to cuss it."

The preacher rose up indignantly. "Now you listen here. I am a preacher and if I ever did cuss, not saying I have, I've forgotten how to do it after all these years."

With a wise look on his face well beyond his years, the kid said, "Preacher, you keep on pulling that rope and it'll all come back to ya."

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[ funny jokes ] Funny Jokes - God Takes a Holiday

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God Takes a Holiday

God is tired, worn out. So he speaks to St. Peter, "You know, I need a vacation. Got any suggestions where I should go?"

St. Peter, thinking, nods his head, then says, "How about Jupiter? It's nice and warm there this time of the year."

God shakes His head before saying, "No. Too much gravity. You know how that hurts my back."

"Hmmm," St. Peter reflects. "Well, how about Mercury?"

"No way!" God mutters, "It's way too hot for me there!"

"I've got it," St. Peter says, his face lighting up. "How about going Down to Earth for your vacation?"

Chuckling, God remarks, "Are you kidding? Two thousand years ago I went there, had an affair with some nice Jewish girl, and they're STILL talking about it!"

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[ funny jokes ] Funny Jokes -

http://jokeoftheday.wordpress.com/

Upholstered

Did you hear about the man who fell into an upholstery machine?

He's fully recovered.

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[FunOnTheNet] Air India Boeing and Airbus Pictures

Hi,

Air India is the largest international airline in India and the national flag carrier of India with a network of passenger and cargo services worldwide. The airline connects 95 destinations around the world, including 12 gateways in India with Air India Express, which is a fully-owned subsidiary of Air India.

See stunning pix here - http://www.funonthenet.in/content/view/311/31/

Good Day!

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[JoannasJokes] Empty Tables Threaten Some Restaurant Chains

Empty Tables Threaten Some Restaurant Chains

During a decade of easy credit and loose spending, American businesses built too many cars, houses, stores and factories. It turns out the country built too many restaurants, too.

Now consumers are cutting back, and dining out is among the casualties. Finer restaurant chains have been hit hard, and so have the casual sit-down places that flooded suburban shopping centers and tourist districts across the country, aimed straight at middle American tastes.

FOREX-Dollar rises vs yen after nonfarm jobs report

* Dollar rises above 100 yen after US jobs report

* US economy lost 663,000 jobs in March

* Risk appetite continues to improve on stock gains, G20

Mortgage rates fall to new low

The cost of borrowing money to buy a home is at its lowest level in almost four decades.

Freddie Mac says the average 30-year fixed-rate mortgage fell to 4.78 percent this week from 4.85 percent last week. It is the lowest 30-year rate since Freddie Mac started its weekly survey in 1971.

Last year at this time, the 30-year fixed-rate mortgage averaged 5.88 percent.

Twitter Has Captain Kirk, Dell Tweeting for Revenue

Twitter Inc., the online messaging service derided by comedian Jon Stewart as “inane chatter,” is being taken seriously by big business.

Dell Inc. is using Twitter to sell personal computers and solve customer problems. International Business Machines Corp. uses it to get research scientists talking. Intel Corp. is there looking for engineers and Microsoft Corp. is sponsoring a Twitter site that carries “Tweets” from executives.

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[FunOnTheNet] MODELS PROMOTING KANCHIPURAM SAREES

With all love & Regds
Arun Kumar.M

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[FunOnTheNet] Alibaba and 30 Thieves

At first, it was
Alibaba & 40 Thieves

now

it is Alibaba & 30 Thieves

ASK WHY?

Poocho Kyon ?
.
.
.

.
.
.
.

Recession Boss!!!
Alibaba has removed 10 thieves from the group..
Cost Cutting...

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[FunOnTheNet] Net Geo Wallpapers

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[FunOnTheNet] Glamour -Shama Sikandar

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[FunOnTheNet] The Great 3D Illusion

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[FunOnTheNet] Cool Images for Ur Desktop.

"The great art of life is sensation, to feel that we exist, even in pain."

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[FunOnTheNet] Obituary~ London Times

How Sad..... We will miss you Common Sense

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense,

who has been with us for many years.

No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were

long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

1- Knowing when to come in out of the rain.

2- Why the early bird gets the worm .

3- Life isn't always fair.

4- and, Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies.........

                (don't spend more than you can earn)

                             and reliable strategies

(adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but,

overbearing, regulations were set in place.

Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment

for kissing a classmate.

teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch;

and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student.

                  These only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing

the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly

children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental

consent to administer Sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could

not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to

have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses;

and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from

a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to

realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in

her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement..

               Common Sense was preceded in death :

by his parents Truth and Trust,

   by his wife, Discretion,

      by his daughter, Responsibility,

      and by his son,Reason...

           He is survived by his four stepbrothers;

                    I Know My Rights

                    I Want It Now


           Someone Else Is To Blame

                    I'm A Victim

           Not many attended "his" funeral because so few realized

"he" was gone..

Copied

Qamar ... Luna... 53

Windows Live™: Keep your life in sync. Check it out.

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[FunOnTheNet] Events in Pictures

Children perform at the One and Only resort in Cape Town, South Africa

Children perform at a benefit for the Mandela Children's Foundation in South Africa, which was attended by the Nobel prize-winning former President Nelson Mandela and a host of Hollywood stars.

Worshippers wait for friday prayers at the Blue Mosque in Istanbul

Worshippers in Turkey's largest city, Istanbul, wait for Friday prayers at the 17th-century Blue Mosque, famous for the blue tile work ornamenting its walls.

A woman reads her bible in the main cathedral of Chisinau, Moldova

Meanwhile, a woman in the former Soviet republic of Moldova reads her bible in the main cathedral of Chisinau.

French President Nicolas Sarkozy in Strasbourg, 3 April 2009

President Nicolas Sarkozy of France waves from his car as it passes Strasbourg cathedral on his way to the Nato summit being held there.

Woman has her hat checked as she passes through security at Nato summit Baden-Baden, 3 April 2009

The summit is also being held in Baden-Baden, across the border in Germany, where this woman had her hat checked amid tight security.

Male Asian elephant at Taronga zoo, Australia, 3 April 2009

A male Asian elephant at Taronga zoo in Sydney explores his new lodgings after being separated from females to replicate how the herd would behave in the wild.

South Korean soldiers at the Korea War Memorial in Seoul

As tensions rose over an expected North Korean rocket launch, South Korean soldiers perform during a guard of honour ceremony at the Korea War Memorial in Seoul.

Grand Forks, North Dakota, --A truck and trailer plow through icy floodwaters on Interstate 29.
The flooded Red River started to recede by Monday, but rescue workers now face the daunting task of navigating waterlogged streets to send in supplies and assess damages

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2009/04/photogalleries/week-in-news-pictures-124/images/primary/090402-03-buddhism-south-korea_big.jpg

Seoul, South Korea, March 31, 2009--A worker attaches cards bearing Buddha's name to lanterns to celebrate the philosopher's birthday, which is observed on April 8.
Buddha's birthday is a national holiday in South Korea, where about a third of the 48 million residents are Buddhist.

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[FunOnTheNet] CAMOUFLAGED ANIMALS

In nature, every advantage increases an animal's chances of
survival, and therefore its chances of reproducing.
This simple fact has caused animal species to evolve a number
of special adaptations that help them find food and keep them
from becoming food. One of the most widespread and varied
adaptations is natural camouflage, an animal's ability to hide
itself from predator and prey.

http://www.votawphotography.com/photo/Animals/105-Camouflaged%20Iguana,%20Panama.jpg

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/45626000/jpg/_45626508_466x260-77-atlasmoth-spl.jpg

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/45626000/jpg/_45626510_466x260-6-lionkenya-getty.jpg

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/45626000/jpg/_45626512_466x260-27-snowshoehare-spl.jpg

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/45630000/jpg/_45630807_466x260-36-mothsindeadleave.jpg

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/45626000/jpg/_45626517_466x260-68-chameleon-spl.jpg

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/45630000/jpg/_45630806_466x260-30-greenfrog-spl.jpg

http://very-bored.com/pics2/camouflaged-animals/camouflaged-animals-1.jpg

http://i110.photobucket.com/albums/n114/corsiphoto/camouflaged-animals-8.jpg

http://www.troutnut.com/im_extax/picture_64_medium.jpg

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Friday, April 3, 2009

[FunOnTheNet] Quick Tips to Improve Self Confidence!

Hi,

Here are some quick tips to improve your Self Confidence. If we are committed to have a healthy self confidence there are many things you can do every day to boost your self confidence, each small steps that will help you to reach your goal. The good news is that self-esteem is not fixed and can be improved, try some of the steps below to boost your confidence and self-esteem.

Read it here - http://www.funonthenet.in/articles/tips-improve-self-confidence.html

Good Day!

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[JoannasJokes] Tools

From: Larry Jemmett <lunitics_anonymous@yahoo.ca>

What every guy knows & some gals too... I have em all with the same
results. You'll see...

DRILL PRESS: A tall uprigfht machine useful for suddenly snatching
flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the
chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-
painted part which you had carefully set in the corner, where nothing
could get to it.

WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere
under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints
and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you
to say, ''What the....??''

ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning pop rivets in their
holes until you die of old age.

SKILL SAW: A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.

PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation
of blood-blisters.

BELT SANDER: An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor
touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.

HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board
principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable
motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more
dismal your future becomes.

VISE-GRIPS: Generally used after pliers, to completely round off bolt
heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer
intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

WELDING GLOVES: Heavy duty leather gloves used to prolong the
conduction of intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

OXY-ACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various
flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the
grease inside the wheel hub you want the bearing race out of.

TABLE SAW: A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood
projectiles for testing wall integrity.

HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the ground
after you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack
handle firmly under the bumper.

EIGHT-FOOT YELLOW PINE 2X4: Used for levering an automobile upward off
of a trapped hydraulic jack handle.

E-Z OUT BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool ten times harder than any
known drill bit that snaps neatly off in bolt holes thereby ending any
possible future use.

BAND SAW: A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to
cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit into
the trash can after you cut on the inside edge of the line instead of
the outside edge.

TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength
of everything you forgot to disconnect.

CRAFTSMAN 1/2 x 24-INCH SCREWDRIVER: A very large pry bar that
inexplicably has an accurately machined screwdriver tip on the end
opposite the handle.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under
lids and for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing
oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip
out Phillips screw heads.

STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to
convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws.

PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or
bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.

HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to make hoses too short. Works equally as
well on boxes and thumbs.

HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is
used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts
adjacent the object we are trying to hit.

MECHANIC'S KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of
cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly
well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic
bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic
parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while
wearing them.

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[JoannasJokes] Hie Thee to a Nunnery!

Prilip, Yugoslavia (AP) - Outside a small Macedonian village close to
the border between Greece and strife-torn Yugoslavia, a lone Catholic
nun keeps a quiet watch over a silent convent. She is the last
caretaker of the site of significant historical developments spanning
more than 2,000 years.

When Sister Maria Cyrilla of the Order of the Perpetual Watch dies,
the convent of St. Elias will be closed by the Eastern Orthodox
Patriarch of Macedonia. However, that isn't likely to happen soon, as
Sister Maria, 53, enjoys excellent health. By her own estimate, she
walks 10 miles daily about the grounds of the convent, which once
served as a base for the army of Attila the Hun.

In more ancient times, a Greek temple to Eros, the god of love,
occupied the hilltop site. Historians say that Attila took over the
old temple in 439 A.D. and used it as a base for his marauding army.

The Huns are believed to have first collected and then destroyed a
large gathering of Greek legal writs at the site. It is believed that
Attila wanted to study the Greek legal system, and had the writs and
other documents brought to the temple. Scholars differ on why he had
the valuable documents destroyed -- either because he was barely
literate and couldn't read them, or because they provided evidence of
democratic government that did not square with his own notion of rule
by an all-powerful tyrant.

When the Greek church took over the site in the 15th Century and the
convent was built, church leaders ordered the pagan statue of Eros
destroyed, so another ancient Greek treasure was lost.

Today, there is only the lone sister, watching over the old Hun base.
That's how it ends: No Huns, no writs, no Eros, and nun left on base.

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[JoannasJokes] A Baseball Story

Was he the best pitcher that ever threw a baseball? Back in the 1950s,
there were a lot of folks who thought so.

Mel Famey of the Milwaukee Braves was a natural -- a once-in-a-
lifetime phenomenon whose fast ball blew away the best hitters. His 90
MPH curve ball would start out like it was going to hit the batter's
ear, only to break at the last instant and hit the outside corner of
the plate for a strike. His change up made the best hitters in the
league cry -- they would swing, drop the bat, and stare incredulously
as the ball hit the catcher's mitt. He was indeed awesome!

Why then, you might ask, is he not in the Hall of Fame? Why haven't
you ever heard of him?

Alas, like many others before him, Mel's downfall was demon alcohol.
Ol' Mel really liked to tilt the glass. His drinking became almost
legendary around the country, but he never let it affect his pitching
until The Braves and the Yankees were in the World Series!

Excitement reigned! The series was tied at three games apiece, and the
Braves were in New York for the seventh and deciding game.

The night before the big event, Mel's thirst got the better of him. He
snuck out of the hotel after curfew, and bought himself two cases of
beer.

you might imagine, the next morning Mel didn't feel too good. But
being the pro that he was, Mel managed to do just fine -- until the
bottom of the ninth inning. With the Braves ahead by one run, two out,
and the bases loaded, Mel's revelry the night before finally caught up
to him. Eight straight pitches -- eight straight balls. He walked in
the tying run and the winning run, thereby, losing the game and the
series.

After the game, a reporter went to the jubilant Yankee's clubhouse and
spoke to the last two players that faced Mel.

"Tell me," he asked, "to what do you attribute this victory over the
best pitcher in the major leagues"?

In unison they replied, ... "It was the beer that made Mel Famey walk
us!"

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[FunOnTheNet] New High School Exit Exam

I've seen this test before and the answers are not so obvious !!!!

OK all you geniuses out there, try this easy little test. NO CHEATING!!

You only need 4 correct to pass!

(Remember, passing requires only 4 correct answers)

1) How long did the Hundred Years' War last?

2) Which country makes Panama hats?

3) From which animal do we get cat gut?

4) In which month do Russians celebrate the
    October Revolution?

5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?

6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are
     named after what animal?

7) What was King George VI's first name?

8) What color is a purple finch?

9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?

10) What is the color of the black box in a
       commercial airplane?

Remember, you need 4 correct answers to pass.

Check your answers below:

ANSWERS TO THE QUIZ

1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?
     116 years

2) Which country makes Panama hats?
    Ecuador

3) From which animal do we get cat gut?
    Sheep and Horses

4) In which month do Russians celebrate the
    October Revolution? November

5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
   Squirrel fur

6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are
     named after what animal? Dogs

7) What was King George VI's first name?
    Albert

8) What color is a purple finch?
    Crimson

9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
     New Zealand

10) What is the color of the black box in a
       commercial airplane?
      Orange (of course)

What do you mean, you failed? Me, too. (And if you try to tell me you passed, you lie!)

Pass this on to some brilliant friends, so they may feel useless too.

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[FunOnTheNet] Today's joke_Beggars of today

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Beggars of today

A man walks past a beggar every day and gives him Rs.10 and that Continues for a year. Then suddenly the daily donation changes to Rs. 7.50

"Well," the beggar thinks, "it's still better than nothing."

A year passes in this way until the man's daily donation suddenly becomes Rs. 5.

"What's going on now?" the beggar asks his donor.

"First you give me Rs. 10 every day, then Rs. 7,50 and now only Rs. 5. What's the problem?"

"Well," the man says, "last year my eldest son went to university. It's very expensive, so I had to cut costs. This year my eldest daughter also went to university, so I had to cut my expenses even further."

"And how many children do you have?" the beggar asks.

"Four," the man replies.

"Well," says the beggar, "I hope you don't plan to educate them all at my expense

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[JoannasJokes] The Extreme Hail Attack

Extreme Hail Attack

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in the Box below and Click Subscribe to Funzug Mails button now.

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Extreme Hail!

When nature decides to shoot it all to smithereens it uses giant ice bullets. Extreme hail is probably the most dangerous and life-threating weather event for those unlucky enough to be in the open. It leaves fist-sized dents in the sheet metal, destroys windshields and comes down with a force that some compare with hand grenades, or an artillery attack.

A murderous hailstorm in the Middle East, which decimated livestock and seemed to particularly dislike SUVs:

(photos credit: bankny)

Guo Huang sent us photographs, documenting the process and aftermath of one such crazy "drum-solo" from hell:

(photo credit: noaa.gov)

In Love with Nature? Join our Group Funzug!

(image credit: wigley.us)

Larger hailstones (bigger than 4 inches) usually have rings, which are visible if you split them in the middle:

The growing ice-crystals are fusing together, which results in irregular shape for the giant hail:

In Love with Nature? Join our Group Funzug!

Airplanes are significantly damaged by hailstorms sometimes, as well. Here is an EasyJet Boeing 737-300:

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[FunOnTheNet] New Word - Bangalored!!

HEY.....

CHECK OUT THIS..... There is a new word introduced in Dictionary.........

Do u know that?

"Bangalored" is an adjective which recently added in the dictionary.

A person is said to be bangalored ,if he has lost his job due to the work
outsourced to Bangalore or any other city in India (Asia) ..

Have you bangalored by your company ?

U can also type this word "bangalored" in Google search n see. (Or
www.dictionary.com)

Best Regards,
Ravinder Puranam

"Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare."

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[JoannasJokes] Jest For Kids 04-03-09

JEST FOR KIDS 04-03-09
Riddles and Puns for the 8 to 14 year old

RIDDLES

What do you call the Easter Bunny after a hard day's work?
Tired.

What does it mean when the Easter Bunny arrives one day late with
melted candy?
He had a bad hare day.

Why didn't the teddy bear eat dessert?
Because he was stuffed.

Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Because it felt crummy!

Why do golfers carry two pairs of trousers with them?
Just in case they get a hole in one.

How do you know when a train is eating?
You hear it choo-ing.

What is a crowbar?
A place were blackbirds can go to get a drink

What are the four seasons?
Salt, pepper, vinegar and mustard.

PUNS & OTHER HUMOR

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Boy 1: "How did you get that bruise on your arm?"
Boy 2: "I ate some Easter candy."
Boy 1: "Eating Easter candy won't give you a bruise."
Boy 2: "It will if it's your big brother's candy!"

The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but beware that
the bull charges.

I was a beekeeper, but I gave it up because I kept getting hives.

Bulldozing: Falling asleep during a political speech

After a long, dry sermon, the minister announced that he wished to
meet with the church board after the service. The first man to arrive
was a stranger. "You misunderstood my announcement. This is a meeting
of the board, " said the minister. "I know, " said the man. "If there
is anyone here more bored than I am, I'd like to meet him. "

Eyes are not eyes when the wind makes them water

Satin: The dog SATIN the doorway not letting anyone go in or out.

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[JoannasJokes] Puns of the Day 04-03-09

PUNS OF THE DAY 04-03-09

PUNS

When Jane Austin's heroine worked as a nurse in a gastroenterologist's
office and was assisting during a procedure, the doctor handed her the
rubber nozzle and told her, "Bury 'im in, Emma." (Rich Orwell)

You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

Finishing up our work at a trade show in San Diego, my co-worker
Maureen and I decided to go sightseeing across the border in Tijuana,
Mexico. While there, we went shopping and bought a few pieces of clay
kitchenware. As we crossed back into the United States, a customs
official asked if we had anything of value to report. "Not really,"
Maureen replied, digging in her bag for the bean crock she had
purchased. Everyone around us froze as she continued, "I only bought a
little pot."

I was going to start an Apathy Anonymous group, but why bother.

I had been teaching my seventh-graders about World War II and a test
question was, "What was the largest amphibious assault of all time?"
Expecting to see "the D-Day invasion" as the answer, I found, instead,
on one paper, "Moses and the plague of frogs."

I've got great health insurance. If I get knocked on the head they pay
me a lump sum.

I heard my neighbor's wife compare her husband to Jesus and asked her
what she meant. She said they were both familiar with loafing and
fishing. (Harry Farkas)

My neighbor, an internist named Roy, was arrested for stalking his ex-
wife. He couldn't liver alone. I wouldn't kidney you about it. He
barged into the house while she was cooking and attacked her with a
skillet; the pancreased her skull. It left a dent the thighs of a
small crater. The police had a heart time finding the ex-husband, and
they told me if I saw his car I should colon them to come arrest him
immediately. I made that gall at 10 last night when I saw him. I
called out "Thyroid!" like nothing was wrong, but then I called the
cops. Soon they were necks door with a squad car. He's gonna be in
jail for a lung time. (Cynthia MacGregor)

The sign on the nudist camp said, "Clothed 'til May." (Mike Bull)

I was surprised at how appropriately named 'endoscopy' is, since it
involves a two-way stretch. Every time I have to have one I feel
gutted. I am sure the process is easier for joggers, since part of the
preparation involves the runs. They do it without much hazard
nowadays; few casualties means they don't have to barium any more. In
Australia those getting such bad news were known as grave diggers.
(Joseph Harris)

OTHER HUMOR

A collector of rare books ran into an acquaintance who told him he had
just thrown away an old Bible that he found in a dusty, old box. He
happened to mention that Guten-somebody-or-other had printed it. "Not
Gutenberg?" gasped the collector. "Yes, that was it!" "You goober!
You've thrown away one of the first books ever printed. A copy
recently sold at auction for half a million dollars!" "Oh, I don't
think this book would have been worth anything close to that much,"
replied the man. "It was scribbled all over in the margins by some
clown named Martin Luther."

The economy is so bad Wall Street had to sell advertising rights to
its street name. It's now Wal-Mart Street.

My wife has not been speaking to me for three days. On Friday, we went
to the shopping mall, and passed a display of bathing suits. She said,
"It's been at least ten years since I wore a bathing suit. What do you
think? Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?" Unthinkingly, I
replied, "Better get a bikini. You'd never get into an all-in-one."

A statistician is someone who is good with numbers, but lacks the
personality to be an accountant.

One morning as Professor Jones was leaving for the university his wife
told her absent-minded husband, "Don't forget we are moving today. If
you come to this house this afternoon it will be empty." Predictably
he didn't remember until he found the house vacated that afternoon. He
mumbled to himself, "And where was it we were moving to?" He went out
in front of the house and asked a little girl, "Did you see a moving
van here today, little girl?" "Yes," she replied. "Would you know
which way it went?" She looked up at him and said, "Yes, Daddy, I'll
show you."

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you
get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. (Socrates)

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Thursday, April 2, 2009

[FunOnTheNet] Don't talk

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[FunOnTheNet] $$ .,.,. Pencil Drawing Art .,.,. $$ .,.,. Animal's .,.,. $$

Pencil Drawing Art

Almost impossible to believe but these pictures were drawn by pencil! Real masterpieces by different artists, particularly the ones with animals, celebrities and curious.

This one is animals part, I will send more celebrities and curious part in upcoming days.

If any one know about the artists of these pencil drawings then do Replies.

[pencil_drawing_sketch_art_01.jpg]

[pencil_drawing_sketch_art_10.jpg]

[pencil_drawing_sketch_art_11.jpg]

[pencil_drawing_sketch_art_12.jpg]

[pencil_drawing_sketch_art_13.jpg]

[pencil_drawing_sketch_art_14.jpg]

[pencil_drawing_sketch_art_15.jpg]

[pencil_drawing_sketch_art_16.jpg]

[pencil_drawing_sketch_art_17.jpg]

[pencil_drawing_sketch_art_18.jpg]

[pencil_drawing_sketch_art_19.jpg]

[pencil_drawing_sketch_art_20.jpg]

[pencil_drawing_sketch_art_21.jpg]

[pencil_drawing_sketch_art_22.jpg]

[pencil_drawing_sketch_art_23.jpg]

[pencil_drawing_sketch_art_24.jpg]

[pencil_drawing_sketch_art_25.jpg]

[pencil_drawing_sketch_art_26.jpg]

[pencil_drawing_sketch_art_27.jpg]

[pencil_drawing_sketch_art_31.jpg]

[pencil_drawing_sketch_art_33.jpg]

--
Thanks,
Ŧ ♥ Bath

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[FunOnTheNet] REFLECTIONS_*

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[FunOnTheNet] Himalayan Beauty!

Hi,

Together, the Himalayan mountain system is the planet's highest and home to all 14 of the world's highest peaks, the Eight-thousanders, including Mount Everest.

Check it out here - http://www.funonthenet.in/content/view/113/31/

Good Day!

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[FunOnTheNet] Beautiful Watches Collection

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[ funny jokes ] Fw: Today's Jokes Plus - 60 Minutes to Success

Capsized Sailboat

Did you hear about the lawyer on vacation whose sailboat capsized in dangerous, shark-infested waters?

He surprised his traveling companions by volunteering to swim to the far-off shore for help. As he swam, his companions were startled by the appearance of two dorsal fins -- great white sharks, heading straight toward the lawyer.

To their surprise, the sharks allowed the lawyer to take hold of their fins, and escorted him safely to shore.

When the lawyer returned with help, his companions asked him how he had managed such an incredible feat. The lawyer answered, "Professional courtesy."

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[FunOnTheNet] GOOGLE TO BLACKLE

Syed Muhammad Ali Shakir

EDP Officer

Iqra University

SNAGGED & SHARING

Greetings To All,,

Google is the second Brain to many of us.

We use it frequently.

It uses white screen which consumes high power.

Read the following... ......
If Google had a black screen,

taking in Account the huge number of page views,

according to calculations, 750 mega watts/hour

per year would be saved..!!!!! !

In response, Google created a black version

of its search engine, called Blackle,

with the exact same functions as the white version,

but obviously with lower energy consumption:

Help spread the word? Please use

http://www.blackle. com/

.

New Email names for you!
Get the Email name you've always wanted on the new @ymail and @rocketmail.
Hurry before someone else does!

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[JoannasJokes] Puns of the Day 04-02-09

PUNS OF THE DAY 04-02-09

PUNS

I've got no-fault car insurance. If I have an accident, I just call
the insurance company and they tell me it isn't their fault.

Conversation at our business lunch turned to illegal immigration. "I
read an article that said 60 percent of Americans are immigrants,"
commented one of my colleagues. "That can't be true," another said.
"No," agreed a Native American co-worker. "There's a lot more of you
than that."

Obesity in teen-agers is now so common that the fast food restaurants
should be cited for contributing to the waist of minors.

A woman walked into my aunt's animal shelter wanting to have her cat
and six kittens spayed and neutered. "Is the mother friendly?" my aunt
asked. "Very," said the woman, casting an eye on all the pet carriers.
"That's how we got into this mess in the first place."

Flatuence results in a release of methaine gas. This can be toxic
around milk-producing cattle because of the high concentration of
poisonous dairy air.

"Let's all play an A, a C sharp, and an E," cried Tom's band with one
accord.

While two men were fishing from a dock, one of them accidentally
dropped his wallet into the water. They peered into the depths and
watched as a carp swam by and scooped the wallet up to its mouth,
Suddenly another carp appeared and snatched the wallet away, only to
have a third grab it from him. The two fishermen looked at each other
in disbelief. "Joe," said one, that's the first time I've ever seen
carp-to-carp walleting."

Garbage: I'm pretty good at guessing the vintage of clothing--just
from its style and condition I can judge GARBAGE. (Cynthia MacGregor)

OTHER HUMOR

An anonymous woman we knew
Was dozing one day in her pew;
When the preacher yelled "Sin!"
She said "Count me in
As soon as the service is through."

Recently, Simon Wisenthal, the Nazi hunter, was knighted by the Queen.
As part of the knighting ceremony, he was to have had to kneel before
the Queen, and as we all know Jews do not bow before anyone except his
God. On top of that, he was told to recite a paragraph from the
Christian liturgy during the actual knighting. Wisenthal was in a
quandary, as this was being televised, but he could not violate the
Jewish laws. The five honorees were lined up waiting for the Queen to
receive them. As her royal highness entered the room all kneeled,
except for Simon Wisenthal. The Queen noticed this, but diplomatically
ignored it. Then, the Queen began knighting each person. When she came
to Simon, who still wasn't kneeling, she looked at him expectantly.
Realizing she was waiting for the Latin recitation, he began to sweat
and shake with nervousness. Then, in a fit of utter desperation, he
said the first thing that came to mind: "MA NISH TANA HALILAH HAZEH!"
The Queen, perplexed, turned to her Prime Minister and asked, "Why is
this knight different from all other knights" (Modernized from a story
by George Burns)

A long knife has been invented that cuts four loaves of bread at a
time. Its called a four-loaf cleaver.

Pregnant with my third child and experiencing morning sickness, I was
resting on the living- room couch. Workmen were doing some minor
repairs in the house. As one walked by, I explained, "Don't mind me.
I'm in my first trimester." "Oh," he said. "What's your major?"

If you asked me to name the three scariest threats facing the human
race, I would give the same answer that most people would: nuclear
war, global warming and Windows. (Dave Barry)

The economy is so bad Ford is introducing a new Fred-and-Wilma-
inspired 2009 model that is powered by feet.

A trainee for the New York Police Department was asked this
hypothetical question: "If your beat was a lonely path in Central Park
and a beautiful young girl rushed up to you and declared that a
strange man had suddenly grabbed, hugged and kissed her, what would
you do?" The police-officer-in-training replied without hesitation, "I
would endeavor to reconstruct the crime."

With our economy did you put aside something for retirement?
Yes. I put aside my plans to retire.

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[JoannasJokes] Jest For Kids 04-02-09

JEST FOR KIDS 04-02-09
Riddles and Puns for the 8 to 14 year old

RIDDLES

Why was the gym wet?
Because the basketball players dribbled all over it

Which two days are the strongest?
Saturday and Sunday because the rest are weekdays.

At what sports do waiters excel?
Tennis. They really know how to serve.

How does a fireplace feel?
Grate!

On what nuts can pictures hang?
Walnuts.

Why was farmer Brown angry?
Jokes about food should be taken in gest.

PUNS & OTHER HUMOR

The automobile replaced mules.
Compared to those beasts, cars are jewels.
Some use diesel, some gas,
Some electric; alas,
This month's power is from April Fuels.
(Kirk Miller)

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

Builder: Asked her for payment.

I'm an obstetrics nurse at a large city hospital, where our patients
are from many different countries and cultures. One day while waiting
for a new mother to be transferred to our division, I checked the
chart and assumed that, because of her last name, she was of European
descent. When she was finally wheeled in, I was surprised to see that
she was Asian. As I was performing the exam, we chatted and she told
me she was Chinese and her husband's ethnic heritage was Czech. After
a short pause she quipped, "I guess that makes my children Chinese
Czechers!" (Lisa Edgehouse)

German: I caught a GERMAN had to stay in bed all day.

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky
ground.

If you broke the law of gravity, would you get a suspended sentence?
JEST FOR KIDS 04-02-09
Riddles and Puns for the 8 to 14 year old

RIDDLES

Why was the gym wet?
Because the basketball players dribbled all over it

Which two days are the strongest?
Saturday and Sunday because the rest are weekdays.

At what sports do waiters excel?
Tennis. They really know how to serve.

How does a fireplace feel?
Grate!

On what nuts can pictures hang?
Walnuts.

Why was farmer Brown angry?
Jokes about food should be taken in gest.

PUNS & OTHER HUMOR

The automobile replaced mules.
Compared to those beasts, cars are jewels.
Some use diesel, some gas,
Some electric; alas,
This month's power is from April Fuels.
(Kirk Miller)

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

Builder: Asked her for payment.

German: I caught a GERMAN had to stay in bed all day.

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky
ground.

If you broke the law of gravity, would you get a suspended sentence?

------------------------------------

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[FunOnTheNet] Cigarette Lighters

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[FunOnTheNet] Kangaroos

Hoppin' Around Town

In Melbourne for the Australian Grand Prix, German Formula One drive Nick Heidfeld meets four kangaroos at the zoo, March 2009.

Woman Feeds Pet Kangaroos, 1937

Kangaroo Bounds Down Staircase, 1959

Boxing Kangaroo

Kangaroo Bounces by at the Australian PGA Championship, 2007

Kangaroos Hop in the Australian Outback

Red Kangaroo With Joey

Pet Kangaroo Enjoys a Nice Cold One

Hotel Owner Feeds Her Pet

Baby Kangaroo Shows Off Its Assets

Johnny and his mom, Nardoo, photographed in 1954, were adopted as family pets by an Australian family and later moved to Britain.

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Wednesday, April 1, 2009

[FunOnTheNet] Lightning on Burj Dubai tower 2009

Subject: FW: Lightning on Burj Dubai tower 2009

Subject: Lightning on Burj Dubai tower 2009

DEAR,

WATCH THIS SPECTACULAR IMAGES RECEIVED FROM MY FRIEND

It's all happening in Dubai ….spectacular photos of last night's storm... enjoy

When lightning hit the world's tallest tower! For as long as half hour lightning hit the tower and the thunder sounded all over the neighbouring areas! An unforgettable night!

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[FunOnTheNet] Mathematics Leads you to Certainty..........

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[FunOnTheNet] Try 2 tow away a women car.........! (funny video -speakers on)

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[FunOnTheNet] Newzealand Pictures

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[JoannasJokes] April Fools Pranks [from an 11 Year Old!]

From: Marsha Coleman <Marsha1945@sbcglobal.net>

April Fools Pranks [from an 11 Year Old!]

• Find a box about the size of a small cake. Then cover it with
frosting, making it look like a cake. Then put it out in the office
kitchen, or wherever people leave free food. Sit back as one of your
co-workers tries to cut a slice.

• Take an empty coffee mix can and replace it with a can with sand or
dirt in it. Make sure coffee cans are the same brand, or it will not
work. On top of sand or dirt in the can put a piece of paper that says
April Fools. Make sure you help the person with making their coffee to
see their reaction.

• This ones for all you pet owners! First, put a walky talky some wear
near the area of where your pet is laying. Go into another room with
the other walky talky. Then, when your brother/sister/spouse/roommate
goes to pet your furry friend, say something like..." Hey Pal! Get
your grimy hands off me!" They'll get a kick outta this one!!!

• Get a small alarm clock and set it for 10 minutes earlier than their
alarm clock. Sneak under the victim's bed. Once it goes off, he/she
won't be able to find it will drive them nuts.

• Switch the "Pull" and "Push" signs on a set of doors. Watch as
people get confused trying to open the doors. Be sue to write in very
small letters in the corner 'April Fools!' (Don't do this on fire
escapes)

• This one should be done where the victim has extra clothes and a
towel You will need a funnel, a coin, a couple of friends and, of
course, a victim! Start playing the 'funnel game' in front of your
victim. A game of skill that involves putting the funnel down the
front of your pants and balancing the coin on your nose with your head
tilted back. Tip your head forward to let the coin drop into the
funnel. When you have the victim begging to do this put the funnel in
his pants and get him to put his head back so you can balance the coin
on his nose. As this is happening pour a large drink into the funnel!

• Stick a post-it note under your friend's mouse so that the paper
leaf covers the mouse ball - the mouse will no longer work! Align so
that the sticky part of the note doesn't touch the ball. Costs next to
nothing to do, and doesn't cause any damage.

• Grab a bottle of liquid soap and head toward the "victims" bedroom.
Squirt some of the soap onto your hand and rub all over the doorknob
of his/her room. Run away before he or she sees you in the process of
doing this prank.

• Glue eggs to the carton and beg for eggs in the morning. When the
victim gets them the eggs break!

• When your victims asleep sneak into their room and draw eyebrows and
a moustache on their face, make sure to be their when they look in the
mirror.

• Put some water in a cereal bowl, and place it in the freezer so that
the water freezes. Offer to make your sister/brother cereal in the
morning. Make sure you use that same bowl. Put their favorite cereal
over the top of the ice, and serve.

• Take a rubber band and slip it over the lever on the spray handle so
that when someone turns the sink on, it will spray him or her in the
face. This is an easy way to pull a great prank!

. If your milk comes in a cardboard container, add a few drops of food
coloring. It's harmless April Fool's joke but the results are pretty
colorful.

. This April Fool's practical joke is old but it still works.
Superglue some coins to the sidewalk or any spot that has a lot of
people walking around. Do not glue it to floors in your home. Make
sure it's an appropriate place, then watch people try hard to get the
coins.

. Find a scrap of cloth. Place a dollar on the floor and stay nearby.
When the victim comes by and bends down to pick up the dollar, rip the
cloth loudly. Most people will reach back to see if they ripped their
pants. One of the original classic April Fool's pranks of all time!

. Leave a phone message for the victim that says that a "Mr. Lyon"
called (or Mr. Behr also works), and wants to be called back. Then
list the phone number of the local zoo.

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[FunOnTheNet] The Art of Extreme Sleeping!

Hi,

Like any extreme activity, it requires the nerves of steel, good choice of timing, location and the absence of suspicious cops. All this however is easier to achieve, because you are, well... asleep, so you can trust the unseen powers to take care of the rest. Long & restful sleep is by no means guaranteed, but perhaps somebody will take your picture and you'll wake up famous.

See it here - http://www.funonthenet.in/articles/extreme-sleeping.html

Sweet dreams are only part of the story

Good Day!

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